I know... It's been another "forever" since my last entry. A lot has happened (as usual). I guess the bad things were also the good things because they made me learned so much... though not necessarily the way I would prefer.
I hate where I live now and I hate it even more that I can't move out. Every person in this house... I wish them the worst of luck. Go to hell. Disappear. Die. I seriously don't give a shit. After five years of friendship I've finally awaken to the fact that my best friend in the States is a fucking hypocrite. FIVE YEARS, GODDAMNIT. Should have seen it earlier... I would have just told her mom all the "illegal" things she did when her mom asked me. Why the hell did I ever bother to protect her, to stand up for her, and to trust her? She was one hell of a bitch and damn, only if I knew I would have just told the truth and sent her to hell. Guilty? Me?? Oh hell no- not now, not EVER. She deserves it. It hurt me so much at first... she was the person I've always trusted and stood up for. Of course there were church people, too... but everybody knows there were things that were considered "church inappropriate". I just wanted somebody to LISTEN, not lecture, for Christ's sake. For almost five years I've stood up for her and what did I get? Her real and ugly side. You don't get to tell me that you hate to lie to your mother, liar; you don't get to tell me to listen to your mom's according to you, "很有道理的觀念", hypocrite. Because if you were to tell your mother the truth and if you were to listen to her ways of moral thinking, you would have told her that your boyfriend sneaks in through the window everynight at 12 and you would not have let him fucked you when you guys were only together for a week nor give him a blowjob/let him give you the fingerjob everynight, YOU HYPOCRITICAL BITCH. Your mom came asking me when she found out that you have a boyfriend "if Sarah has done anything 'she shouldn't'?" and I gave her a solid "no". Fuck, should have just told the truth. Things happened and all she could say was "為什麼要麻煩到我". She's one selfish and hypocritical bitch. 5 years... I've finally seen her real side. So, good for me! Her sister and mother? I'd rather tell you in person because I have long ass stories to bitch about them, too. Living in a house full of bitches... seriously, what more can I ask for?
Things are nice now cos' my brother is here. FINALLY nights when I don't have to take sleep-aids. My brother makes everything nicer here :) I have regular talks with my lovely friend who never cease to amuse me with his thoughtful yet undoable advices ;). Can't wait to see you monkey!! Things are getting a little nicer here... But WHERE ARE YOU PHYLLIS??!!! I seriously miss that woman so much... She was here to listen to me and support me all the way through my unhappy moments (there were others, too, of course). I'll be back in HK to meet up with you!!! Dang... I miss A LOT OF people back in HK... especially when things get tough here, I just want to be with the people I love and love me. I've learned it the hard way that a true friend is hard to find, but I guess I'm not so discouraged by it as much as I was before now because you know what I got out of the lesson? That long distance friendships are even harder to maintain. So I thank you all, my dears. <3
One last note... I'm not a Christian [anymore] because I don't want to be one anymore. My evil side wins me over. Everytime I hear the hypocritical bitches talk about Christianity and how they're at peace with God or how they love God or whatever bullshit that comes out from their mouth, I just want to slap them in the face HARD. Don't tell me you fucking love God after you give your boyfriend a fucking blowjob every night... I only pray to God that He would strike the fucking lightning at you. Don't tell me you find peace with God after you knowingly ripped off my family USD3000 like your fucking ATM machine... I only pray to God that He'll send you to hell and burn you on the stake.
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